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Archive for the ‘Snacks’ Category

cp I killed my dough. I have no idea what happened, it just died. I guess it’s just one of doughs days. (HA! OK, I’m done)

I wanted to make these beautiful cinnamon swirls but something went horribly and terribly wrong.

My dough just sat there. My yeast was good, my rise temp was good, I just got no rise.  Even if a naked stick of butter pranced by, Viagra couldn’t have helped this dough get a good rise. (OK, now I’m really done)

I can’t just throw something out and start all over, especially when I have children to feed and a food budget to stick to, so I needed to come up with something … and quick.

Like any real woman would in a time of emergency, I grabbed my cast iron skillet and oil. When all else fails, fry.

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Here’s my beautiful dough, all sweet and round. Sadly, it’s done rising and looks the exact same as when it went in my very bright bowl.

Hrumph.

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I decided to make faux-churros and rolled a few strips of dough, pinched them off and popped them in hot oil.  After “testing” (code for devouring) the first one, I realized they were a little too thick.

cp2Since I had already pizza wheeled (I told you people, I have no kitchen gadgets and make do. When I use it to cut dough it’s called a dough cutter, so there) the dough and sprinkled it with a little cinnamon and a little sugar I figured I’d just fold it over and make squares.

They look like little ravioli’s. Cute. No reason to make them pretty since they were headed to the fryer and soon to be covered in sugar.

Basic sugar cinnamon mixture in a loaf pan so I could just plop ’em in and swirl them around to coat.

cp41YAY! fried dough!! Cinnamony, sugary, warm fried dough.

cp7And finally, all drizzled with raspberry sauce (fine, it’s melted raspberry preserves, whatev.) I’m sure you could use any dough for these. My attempted dough was just a cinnamon roll base.

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brow81

Go ahead, bust me out. I was way too impatient for these to cool before I cut them, so I have messy edges. Now ask me if I care. After one bite I wouldn’t care if these were all mushed togther in a bowl and I was handed a spoon.

I’ve made Lebovitz’s Black Bottom Cupcakes before so I was super excited for the brownie version. And with good reason, these are insanely good.

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Cheesecake Brownies (David Lebovitz)

One 9-inch (23cm) square pan
6 tablespoons (85g) unsalted butter, cut into pieces
4 ounces (115g) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped
2/3 cup (130g) sugar
2 large eggs, at room temperature
1/2 cup (70g) flour
1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup (80g) chocolate chips
8 ounces (200g) cream cheese, at room temperature
1 large egg yolk
5 tablespoons (75g) sugar
1/8 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Line a 9-inch (23cm) square pan with foil, making sure it goes up all four sides. Use two sheets if necessary. Mist with non-stick spray or grease lightly.

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees (180C).

3. In a medium saucepan, melt the butter and chocolate over low heat, stirring until smooth. Remove from heat and beat in the 2/3 cup (130g) sugar, then the eggs.

4. Mix in the flour, cocoa powder and salt, then the vanilla and chocolate chips. Spread evenly in the prepared pan.

5. In a separate bowl, beat together the cream cheese, the yolk, 5 tablespoons (75g) of sugar, and vanilla until smooth.

6. Distribute the cream cheese mixture in eight dollops across the top of the brownie mixture, then take a dull knife or spatula and swirl the cream cheese mixture with the chocolate batter.

7. Bake for 35 minutes, or until the batter in the center of the pan feels just set.

Let cool, then lift out the foil and peel it away. Cut the brownies into squares.

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After plopping down the cream cheese mix I nearly said “Forget it”, and ate the whole pan raw.
brow5I always over-swirl. Always. It’s fun, and sort of Zen-like. Try to not follow my example.
brown1Once the brownies cool they’ll lose the puffy look and the cream cheese will set, turning a nice gooey delicious yellow color.
brow7 Don’t be like me. Let the brownies cool all the way before cutting the. Or better yet, just eat the whole pan, who cares how they look.

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Quit monkeying around, bread

mb31Just do it. You know you want to. Monkey bread is evil and wicked, and you know you want some.

Forget about the million calories, the 14 sticks of butter, the gooey cream cheese. After one bite, none of the small stuff will matter anymore.

Bills unpaid? Kids bleach the cat again? Best friend lost 20 pounds and found a 26-year-old male model boyfriend? Eat some monkey bread.

Cinnamon. Butter. Sugar. Hello??? Get to bakin’, pronto.

Wicked Evil Cream Cheese Gooey Bread

Paula Deen’s Gorilla Bread (adapted) I no likey nuts, so I gleefully omitted them

1/2 cup granulated sugar
3 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese
2 (12-ounce) cans refrigerated biscuits (10 count)
1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped walnuts
or 3/4 cup chopped walnuts + 3/4 cup chopped pecans

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Spray a bundt pan with nonstick cooking spray. Mix the granulated sugar and cinnamon. In a saucepan, melt the butter and brown sugar over low heat, stirring well; set aside.

Cut the cream cheese into 20 equal cubes. Press the biscuits out with your fingers and sprinkle each with cinnamon sugar. Place a cube of cream cheese in the center of each biscuit, wrapping and sealing the dough around the cream cheese.

Sprinkle 1/2 cup of the nuts into the bottom of the bundt pan. Place half of the prepared biscuits in the pan. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar, pour half of the melted butter mixture over the biscuits, and sprinkle on 1/2 cup of nuts.

Layer the remaining biscuits on top, sprinkle with the remaining cinnamon sugar, pour the remaining butter mixture over the biscuits, and sprinkle with the remaining 1/2 cup of nuts. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and cool for 5 minutes. Place a plate on top and invert.

mb4 As awesome as these are, next time I’m going to swap the cream cheese for something a little lighter. I’m thinking Nutella, because let’s face it, Nutella rocks. Or maybe a raspberry jam, or possibly just straight heroin.

Whatever you decide to stuff these bad boys with, chances are it’ll be good. If you pick a craptacular filling, no one will care after the first bite of the buttery, cinnamon goo of love.

mb2My number 2 child (in order of birth, not because she’s a turd. She is a turd, but that’s irrelevant) is also my funniest child. She likes to call these monkey balls. I pretend to scold her, and then I giggle when she isn’t looking.

Paula Deen may well be the most evil woman on the planet, with her attempts to cause early death through her recipes, but damn if the woman doesn’t make my belly all happy.

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pbbars1 I forgot to bake. I was distracted by internet window shopping and didn’t realize my kids were going to be home in an hour. With nothing started I made a mad dash to the cupboard. When all else fails, kid crack is the answer.  No single food item in my house is as well loved as the combo of peanut butter and chocolate. 20 minutes later I was a good mom again. Even better, 48 pieces of chocolate love only cost about $1.50. I have no idea where this recipe came from, it’s just one of those old favorites.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars (AKA “Kid Crack”)

  • 2 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
  • 1 cup peanut butter
  • 1 1/4 cup butter, melted
  • 2 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
  • 2 1/2 to 3 cups confectioners’ sugar

In a medium bowl, mix graham cracker crumbs, confectioners’ sugar, peanut butter and melted butter. Press into the bottom of a parchment paper lined 9×13 inch pan. Melt chocolate chips, stirring occasionally. Spread melted chocolate over the crumb crust. Chill for about 5 minutes, then score chocolate to make cutting easier after they’ve set. A pizza wheel is perfect for cutting squares.

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